Selling it

Asterisk alert

"Looking years younger is simple with Lifestyle Lift." Just check these before-and-after shots of Linda Sue, with "no retouching." Oops: There’s an asterisk. It refers to this disclaimer: "Patient had optional neck-firming procedure in addition to Lifestyle Lift." We asked what that procedure might be. "You’d have to come in to one of our 42 offices around the nation and be assessed," a customer-service rep said. "I can’t tell you over the phone."

Calling all proofreaders

OK, we won’t worr, but can we be concerne?

Thanks for the tip

The same goes for vacuum cleaners, in case you were wondering.

Snuggie goes to the dogs

Yes, the ubiquitous sleeved blanket has whelped a tiny version for Fido.

Rosie the ribbit-er?

Leaving aside whether you can see yourself as a frog, these "personalized" ornaments are personalized because … you write on them. With your own marker (not included).

You WILL be happy

A Tennessee motel notified guests that they might receive a survey, then made the request below. "I asked the manager about the apparent bribery," a reader writes, and the manager said his intent was to thank people for completing the survey. But not, it seems, for completing it honestly.

Globaloney

An ad promoting a "test preparation system" for a Global Professional in Human Resources certification exam pictured the reversed globe above. We’re hoping it was part of a trick question.